Trading Favors
by Guile
Summary: The ninja world revolves around its elite geniuses, its powerful bloodlines, its living legends. Tenten has none of those things. Maybe she can borrow one of Naruto's? Admittedly, the Leaf's legendary Sannin is far more ridiculous, contrary and perverted than she ever expected, but Gai-sensei didn't raise quitters.
1. Chapter 1

Tenten grimaced and leaned against the wall of a store selling civilian luggage with a ninja twist: bigger on the inside. It was good to see businesses like that taking off – she could definitely see the appeal of space management stuff like that – obviously she did, with how she'd spent even more on scrolls than she had on her myriad weapons. She was actually happy to see the market expanding; just might mean cheaper stuff for her later. Storage seals were popular with civilians since even they could use them if they were willing to practice and bleed a little. And really, which ninja village resident couldn't stomach at least a _bit_ of that? A lot of ninja didn't realize it, but ninja village civilians were pretty tough.

Growing up in the Konoha shopping arcade, space/time seals had always seemed so magical. She'd wanted to learn how to do that long before she'd ever thrown a kunai.

Taking the majority of her weight off her feet helped relieve her throbbing back. She wasn't averse to pain – couldn't be with the team she was on – but that didn't mean she _liked_ it. For the last year and change she'd upgraded her daily workouts from 'Academy standard' to 'the Maito Gai special' and frankly had no idea what to do with being told to take it easy and let the damage from her exam match heal. So she'd maybe overdone it on the walking.

Her chakra had long since recovered, and she was at that weird point that she'd come to occasionally in her training where the flesh was quite literally not keeping up with her ninja magic.

Even though it was just a thought in her head, she still reflexively looked around to make sure her teacher wasn't there with a speech ready about Youth and Willpower and Not Doubting Training For Training Will Never Betray You and other Capital Letter Topics.

It was actually easier on her to pull herself along using the _kawarimi_ substitution jutsu than to walk across the street. Of course, the shop owners tended to get annoyed if you replaced yourself with their shop signs or ornaments just to make travel easier on yourself. And they knew where she lived. She _could_ clean up after herself by attaching ninja wire during the switch and pulling it along afterwards – a bit like fishing, really – but people still complained.

There was just no pleasing some people, really.

Part of it was the lack of her usual workout. Her doctor had thrown around lines like 'Be grateful it's only that' and 'You're lucky you're not actually paralyzed' with a strong undertone of 'What is wrong with you.' Falling twenty feet onto a metal pole hadn't done her back any favors, who would have guessed. The forced inactivity was driving her a little crazy, hence her decision to walk all over the village for the last three hours. And part of it was that she was feeling a little left behind. Which was stupid. Rock Lee was worse off than her, stuck in the hospital with dim prospects, and he was still a font of positivity driving the nurses crazy. And she was moping around because she was forced to stay away from roof hopping or taijutsu practice? Even in her head that sounded awful.

At the core, her problem was Temari.

Which sounded bitter, and wasn't exactly right, but whatever. Tenten had trained and practiced and bettered herself until she was the best young female genin in the entire village and she'd done it without a clan and really, without a single jutsu. She did have Gai-sensei, though. Gai-sensei had told her that she could do it, and she'd believed it, lived it. Maybe she wasn't as crazy about it as Lee but she'd devoted herself to practicing those basics until they shone like diamond.

And then Temari had taken 5 minutes out of her day and taught a masterclass in how awesome jutsu could be. And how small a fish 'best young female genin in the Leaf' apparently was.

Wind was the rarest chakra nature in Konoha, so she hadn't spent much time practicing against it. She'd always thought, well, they might be able to set up a gust to block her weapons, but they were burning chakra and she wasn't. She'd never met a fuuton-user she couldn't outlast before, nor one that could so thoroughly overpowered her. Every weapon and trick in Tenten's arsenal had been literally useless. Her whole style had been useless.

It caused a creeping doubt to drag at her. How many other ninja were out there, that could negate every move she had? Genin could do it, however unusually strong that group from Sand was. She didn't want to stop at genin; how many hundreds of higher class ninja could ignore her weapons? What was the point of having honed her throwing accuracy to perfection if it could just be ignored like that?

The right thing would probably be to go to Gai-sensei with those doubts, but… would he have an answer? There always seemed to be an excuse that stopped her before she said a word; he had his hands full with Lee, he had a student in the exam finals, she shouldn't bother him...

Which was silly. Gai-sensei loved to be bothered by people. It was nothing to see him after training helping old ladies across streets and doing grocery runs for people. Which probably meant she was scared to ask him. That she didn't trust him to have an answer for her.

Argh! She ran a hand through her butt-length brown hair, out of its usual buns. Brooding so wasn't her. She took her job as the temperate balance between Lee's zaniness and Neji's cool moodiness seriously!

Well, semi-seriously. She was the only one who would drag Lee out to eat instead of training late into the night, or jolly Neji out of a funk in a way that didn't make the Hyuuga punch Lee in the face. Gai-sensei wasn't one to try and put the breaks to anything less serious than Lee with a cup of sake… which was a distressingly high bar for something to qualify as serious, when she stopped to think about it.

Given Gai's habit of teaching people dangerous techniques like Primary Lotus, she was starting to wonder about that caveat too.

Maybe a dip in the hot springs would perk her up. The medicinal benefits were marginal, but her doctor had recommended it to loosen the muscles. And she kind of loved baths anyway so it worked out well.

* * *

"... You're going to have to explain that to me again," Tenten said slowly.

"Well, y'know, it all makes sense if you think about it for a second," Naruto said, scratching his head.

Tenten inched deeper in the water. "Do tell."

"Well, I'm learning water walking, right? And the pervert sage said hot springs were a good way to learn…"

 _Pervert sage?_ Tenten shook her head.

"I'm with you so far."

Gai-sensei had them practice on a river for much the same reason. The number of times they'd had to fish Lee out of the water downstream had been staggering.

"And he spends a lot of time he should be training me watching the girls' onsen! So I wanted him to pay attention to me, and..."

Tenten inched lower, so that only her head was sticking out of the water. It wasn't a perfect solution since the water was, well, _water_ , but it made her feel better.

"But it's okay, because I was a girl at the time!" Naruto hastened to reassure her.

He had, in fact, been a girl in an eye-searing orange bikini. Until he'd lost control of the jutsu, fallen into the hot water with barely a splash, and transformed back into the boy in swim trunks that now stood chest-deep in the water before her. So now it was just the two of them sharing a hot springs with an older woman that Tenten assumed was a civilian, on the grounds that she was studiously ignoring the 'ninja magic' going on at the other end of the pool.

"So you guys do this… regularly?" she asked dubiously. Maybe she'd stop coming by the public onsen after training so often.

"What, the girl thing? Yeah, I gotta be a girl while the pervert sage is training me. It's not so bad."

That sounded … creepy. She guessed even perverts who snuck into the ladies' baths had their own circumstances.

"Hey, Naruto, right? Let's get out of the water, but," She pointed to the side. "Look over there, okay?"

Naruto glanced that way. "What? It's just a wall."

"Right. Keep looking for a minute."

"There's nothing there!"

He started to turn back, only for Tenten to grip his head and forcefully turn him back.

"Keep looking, or I'll get mad," she insisted. Then she went back to toweling off as quickly as she could.

"Uh, okay. So I'm just gonna… keep staring at the wall?"

The civilian had closed her eyes and leaned back against the rocks, like she was embarrassed for them or something.

Her sleeveless shirt was easy to slip into, but the moisture on her legs were making her pants hard to put on. She had to hop on one foot and drag them up her legs one at a time, causing her to quietly hiss at a shooting pain. The hot water had loosened her muscles a little but she'd definitely had to cut her bath short because of this idiot.

"Hey nee-chan, you okay? You sound kinda– oops," Naruto's concerned comment was cut off halfway as he turned around to see her doing up her pants, breasts on full display.

"Well, they.. look.. nice?" Naruto offered lamely, cheeks a little red.

Spending her days with Gai and Lee had done a lot to inure her to embarrassment, but this was a bit much. Naruto's face was introduced to the wall with a palm strike, Tenten freezing in place with her hand mushing his cheek to the cheap bamboo divider as her muscles locked up on her.

"Owwww…" she whimpered quietly.

"'Ou 'on' 'oun' 'o 'goo, nee-'an," Naruto mumbled into her palm.

"Just… just be quiet for a second," she whimpered, waiting for the pain to die down. She bowed her head apologetically as the probably-civilian hurried for the changing room.

"'Ow 'oo you 'ow me 'yway?" Naruto wanted to know.

"How could I not?" she asked rhetorically, slowly easing back an inch at a time. "You were kind of noticeable during the first exam."

"You were in the chuunin exam, nee-chan?" Naruto said excitedly, straining against her restraining hand like an excitable puppy.

"Tenten, I'm Tenten," she groaned, finally righting herself. She took a few deep breaths before she tried to shimmy back into her shirt with a minimum of pain. "And face the wall again, please."

"Uh, right," he agreed. "Tenten, huh? Do I know… oh yeah, wait, you're her? Wow your hair is crazy," he added admiringly.

"Sure, that's me," she said, annoyed, flicking her wet hair out of her shirt and letting it waterfall down her back with a moist, vaguely unpleasant _slap_. ...Her shirt and pants were both gonna be wet and clingy, too. Ugh.

"Right! So, I'm just gonna get back to training, okay?" Naruto said, forming the seal for his technique again. With a pop and a puff of smoke, he'd resumed the shape of the blonde in the bikini. He tensed to leap back on top of the hot spring again, only to get held in place by Tenten's grip on his upper arm. Thankfully between her upper body strength and that she'd caught him before he put all his weight behind the motion, she didn't get her back re-jarred for her trouble. Silver lining.

This boy was giving her _such_ a headache.

"How about not?" she suggested. "Practicing on moving water is at least as hard, and isn't going to end up with you getting beaten up by a bunch of outraged girls."

"I _guess_ so," Naruto said, looking like he thought he was doing her a big favor.

She sighed. "Let's just… let's just go."

"Hey brat!" a tall, solidly built man with the head of white hair met up with them shortly after they left. "It looks like you made a friend."

The eyebrow waggle and facial gesticulations on the word 'friend' were vaguely disgusting.

But… holy crap. That was...

"I'm kind of amazed that worked, I was sure you were going to get– uh?" Jiraiya was briefly thrown off his game when the pretty girl the brat had come out with grabbed Naruto around the neck in a headlock and spun them both around, putting their heads together with their backs to the sannin.

"What 'pervert sage', that's Jiraiya-sama!" she hissed into his ear like a drawn kunai.

"Yyyyeah? That's his name," Naruto said, confused.

Tenten squinched her eyes shut. Jiraiya; Toad Sage, Sannin, hero of the Third War. Student of the Third Hokage, and teacher of the Fourth, and probably a dozen titles besides! There were all kinds of stories about what Jiraiya and Tsunade were up to when they'd been gone for so long. Spying, sabotage, holding back some terrible threat alone… there was no way to sort the outlandish from the ridiculous, not when it came to a Sannin. That was Jiraiya. Also – apparently – a pervert who liked looking at naked ladies without their permission. Well. That was… that was fine. He was still a legitimate hero and icon of how powerful a ninja can become! He was just... a little _greasier_ than she'd expected.

Right. She nodded.

She spun around and bowed, hands properly placed in front of her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jiraiya-sama."

Then she froze in pain again, head down. Why did she keep doing this to herself?

"Always happy to meet pretty girls," the sannin chortled. "See, brat? That's the kind of respect you should give to someone of my station! Oh, but you don't need to show that much respect, kid, I'm not really that formal of a guy."

He seemed to have taken her over-long bow for respect, rather than being half-crippled. Good.

"Right," she whimpered, forcing herself upright again after she smoothed out her expression. She didn't want him thinking a stray grimace was caused by disgust. It was, a little bit, but he was still the Toad Sage! She certainly respected him enough to not show it.

"Tenten," Naruto looked at her oddly, like she was disappointing him. "Do you like his pervy books or something?"

"Jiraiya writes books?!" Tenten asked, side-tracked. "Why haven't I heard about– wait, you said 'pervy books'?"

"I am indeed a writer!" Jiraiya said proudly, fishing around in his jacket and emerging with an orange cover titled 'Make-out Make-out Paradise'.

"Oh." Right, if a Sannin had written a book about sealing techniques or jutsu or something, of course she would have heard about it. Jiraiya, instead, appeared to spend his off-time writing smut.

"Why do you look disappointed, getting to meet your idol?!" Jiraiya cried.

"It's nothing," she demurred, waving a hand to dismiss the troublesome topic. She sighed deeply, burying the disappointment. "So you're actually training this guy, Jiraiya-sama?"

"Yeah, more or less," Jiraiya nodded in a 'pity me' kind of way. "His talent's not bad even if there's nothing between his ears except shouting."

Tenten fidgeted. "Would you–"

"Nah," Jiraiya said winningly.

She started to get annoyed, "I just wanted to–"

"Nope! I ended up training this knucklehead because I'm so magnanimous, but I'm not going to have a whole train of brats following me around like goldfish poop."

"Would you at least let me f–"

"Why should I?"

 _So annoying._

She grabbed Naruto, who was longingly edging towards the river to get his training started again. "What do you have on him?" she asked him quietly.

Naruto's sensei was Gai-sensei's rival Kakashi, who had been the student of the Fourth, who had been Jiraiya's student. He could have called in favors, or given how many vices Jiraiya apparently had, maybe…

"Have on...?" Naruto looked at her in blank incomprehension.

...Did he seriously just _luck_ into training with Jiraiya the Sannin? No, that was stupid. He probably just didn't _know_. Ninja didn't do things for no reason.

Well. Gai-sensei didn't raise quitters.

A grin split her lips. She'd come into some free time lately… what better way to spend it than by stalking– following, she meant following, a legend? She even had her very own bright orange canary to help point her in the right direction. Sannin or no, that sounded doable.

"No problem, haha, sorry for bothering you," she said aloud. "I'll just be on my way then!"

Jiraiya looked at her suspiciously, but waved her off.

"Bye nee-chan," Naruto said absently, clearly thinking about something else. "I mean, Tenten!"

She held up a hand in farewell, unsure if she should be happy Naruto finally seemed to remember her name or not. Since she was planning on seeing more of Naruto mostly just to get at the S-class ninja puttering around him, it would be good to be on friendly terms with the orange ninja. It wasn't exploitation, it was just being friendly! She wasn't just rationalizing!

"Come find me in the shopping arcade," she suggested. "I'll treat you to lunch."

And pick your brain about Jiraiya, she didn't say.

"Wow, really?! You're the best!"

He really was embarrassingly simple.

"I'll be seeing you guys again," she informed them.

"Did that sound ominous to you, brat?" Jiraiya asked Naruto.

"What? It sounds great!" he replied.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I had two chapters in the can before getting around to posting, so here's the second one. Anybody who has opinions about what they liked or where they want this to go, feel free to chime in. I don't promise to use 'em, but I promise to at least listen.

* * *

Getting stronger really was the best thing, in Naruto's opinion. Better than cup ramen cooked a perfect three minutes, maybe even better than a date with Sakura-chan would be (he'd never gotten to find out, but he was sure that would be pretty awesome too).

He had a girl to avenge and a crowd to wow, and after that would be more awesome ninja missions and the admiration of his team to win. So he had to get stronger. And even if water walking was kind of a lame way to get stronger compared to learning cool jutsu, it did sound like it was the real thing, at least. The closet pervert and the pervert sage both wanted him to work on it, and Kakashi-sensei had taught him tree climbing which was basically the same thing, and even that girl from yesterday had said she learned it. So surely not all of them could be wrong, right?

It was a little hard to hear over the little stream he was – mostly – standing on, but he thought he heard some scratching in one of the trees on the other side of the river. At first he thought it was a cat or a bird or something and didn't pay any attention. Water walking was hard; first he'd put in too much chakra, then not enough, so he'd go from sinking to bouncing like the river was made of jello or something. But then there was a human-sounding curse, and more grunting as whoever it was inched along one of the branches before settling in again.

Someone was watching them.

Naruto's foot sank into the water up to the knee kinda on purpose. That's what he'd be saying if anybody asked, anyway. If it was Kiba, he probably couldn't resist laughing at other people's problems. Shikamaru liked laughing at people too, but he was generally too lazy to put any effort into pranks. And everybody else was probably too busy to bother.

Well, there _was_ that time Sasuke had been in that tree, when they'd met those crazy Sand guys. Maybe it was him! Maybe his thing was like, standing in trees. Brooding about… whatever was in that guy's head. Probably how to look super cool in front of everybody or something.

Naruto snickered.

Jiraiya, without moving an inch from his spot overlooking the baths or even stopping jotting notes down in the book on his lap, said, "Come on, give up! Even the brat knows you're there now."

There was a long, long pause. Then, the distinctive, almost-nasal voice of that nee-chan from yesterday said, "Not gonna."

"Oh, you don't want me to come up there," Jiraiya assured her, not stopping any of his activities for a second.

"It's a free village," she said mulishly.

"... Brat, go get the other brat out of the tree, will you?"

"I'm training!" Naruto protested. "You go get her!"

"The disrespect I'm getting!" Jiraiya lamented. Then he grinned and squashed his eye up against the peep hole he was using. "Oh ho ho, that's a nice one. She's going in the next book for sure."

So they continued; Naruto practicing his water walking, Jiraiya 'researching material for his next book', and the unseen watcher watching the aforementioned two. Finally, the sounds started up again as the person in the tree inched back along the branch. When she reached the trunk she wrapped her arms and legs around the tree and slowly slid down to the ground, landing with a pained grunt.

"Whew," she breathed, one hand fisted at the small of her back like an old man. She jerked her other thumb over her shoulder. "Hey Naruto, let's go get lunch."

"Awesome!" Naruto declared, training briefly forgotten. "Hey pervert sage, we're gonna go eat okay?"

"What am I, your minder?" Jiraiya hollered back, making grandiose shooing motions with his hands but without bothering to look away from the hot springs his attention was glued to.

* * *

Shimon brushed the shop curtain aside as he stepped up to the roadside stall. Tonbo, following along behind him, ducked his head in to avoid the curtain swishing back in his face.

"Hey there, friends," the tall thin man sporting a razor thin moustache said.

He was almost hidden behind the grill and mountain of ingredients separating him from the customer seating. His hands couldn't be seen, but from the sizzling pork rib smell he was already working the grill.

"Hi," Shimon said tonelessly, gaze set low enough that his eyes couldn't be seen for his fringe.

"Is that pops? It's been ages," Tonbo said in a cheerier voice. "I missed this place. I've been surviving on beer and bar snacks for weeks, it's been awful."

"Glad to hear you missed me at least," the bun-maker said bemusedly.

"You made the bet, you deal with the consequences," Shimon said heartlessly.

"In fairness, at the time I still believed Captain Ibiki was a being of flesh and blood."

"Rookie mistake," Shimon agreed solemnly.

"What can I get you folks?" the street vendor asked.

"Pepper bun for me," Shimon said.

"The usual," the vendor agreed with a smile, already pulling the top off a thick metal bin to reveal dozens of buns stuck to the inside like barnacles to a pier.

"What's good?" Tonbo asked curiously.

"Everything," the vendor said matter of factly. "My buns are popular, but I also do crepes, dumplings, rice balls and kebabs."

"Mmm…" Tonbo pondered.

"Shit, it's her," Shimon scrunched down in his seat further than he already was, like Tonbo's thin body could hide him from a casual visual sweep from the open curtain.

"I'll go with the kebabs," Tonbo decided.

A pair of kids slipped through the curtain, the boy chattering away while the older, taller girl listened with tolerant amusement. The boy all but bounded into a seat at the end of the bar, then turned to look at the girl uncertainly.

That was that Naruto kid, Tonbo realized.

"Order whatever you want," she invited him. "Pops, I'll have the usual."

"Sesame buns coming up," the proprietor agreed. "Doing well I hope, Tenten? With your, ninja, thing?"

He waved a hand vaguely, in what was presumably supposed to be a ninja handseal.

"Knocked out in the preliminaries," Tenten sighed, easing herself gingerly into a seat. Tonbo took a closer 'look' and saw that her chakra meridians were strained like she'd been pushed to the limit recently, and what she was producing was trying to mend some muscle damage. He didn't remember her from the first stage of the chuunin exam, but it was the likely culprit.

"Hey old man, you have ramen back there?" Naruto asked.

"Afraid not," the owner said, taking the nicknames with good grace as always. "How about soba?"

"With broth?" he asked hopefully.

"Dipping sauce," the owner shook his head.

"Ehh…"

"The buns are the specialty of the house," Tenten offered.

"I _guess_ I'll try the buns, then," Naruto offered, like it was some great concession.

Tonbo turned back to his coworker to ask quietly, "You're afraid of pretty young girls?" only to find a stranger sitting with him. Tonbo blinked. But if you knew to look beyond the physical... well, and had the ability... you could see Shimon hiding inside a thin shell of chakra. _Henge_ no jutsu.

"Did you seriously drop an illusion mask on yourself to hide from a teenager?"

"You don't know what she's like," the man in his 40s with a carpenter's physique that had replaced Shimon said. "She may just be a genin ninja, but she's an S-class wheedler. She'll jump on any social obligation and never let go! If you give her the chance she'll suck you bone dry like a withered husk. It's better now that she's working under Jounin Gai, but I'm not giving her another chance. Once she has you once, it's hard to get a minute away. She was always showing up, cutting into my downtime, begging me for more!"

"... I know we say that genin are considered adults, but that still sounds like a crime," Tonbo whispered dubiously.

"For techniques, idiot," Shimon hissed back. "She bats those pretty eyes and is all 'Sempai, could I have a minute of your time? Maybe just a quick tutorial in throwing techniques?' or 'I'm having trouble getting this seal technique down, could you-?' and then she's latched on like a limpet. If the pepper buns weren't so good here, I'd be gone like a shot."

Tonbo turned back to look at the pair at the end of the bar. Tenten was digging into a sesame bun with every evidence of enjoyment, while Naruto was poking his like he expected it to bite. "You think she's trying to find out information on him? She does have a teammate in the final exam."

"Don't look at her so much, she'll get suspicious," was all Shimon said.

Shimon shut up when their orders came up. The older man behind the counter blinked at the character sitting in Shimon's spot for a few seconds, before his eyes slid over to Tenten and he smiled. He tapped the side of his nose and went on his way.

"Pops, your kebabs look great!" Tonbo enthused, smelling a mouth-watering, spicy scent wafting up from his plate.

"Er, right," the owner said awkwardly, looking at the bandages covering the upper half of Tonbo's face. No visible eyes at all.

"I'm a ninja," Tonbo stage-whispered at him, loud enough for the entire place to hear.

"No, stop, what are you doing," Shimon hissed.

The girl holding down the end of the bar glanced over at that and bowed her head respectfully when she saw his flak jacket, inferior to superior, but otherwise didn't come over. She asked her companion, "So how's training?"

"Pretty good!" Naruto answered, upbeat. "The old guy's still an awful letch, but I think I've got the water-walking thing down. It's supposed to be good practice, right?"

"I was going to embarrass you in front of your ex," Tonbo told Shimon regretfully, "but unfortunately she didn't bite."

"I hate you."

"We're with T&I!" Tonbo argued. "Gotta keep in practice, you know?"

"It helps with control and is a good skill to have. Still, I kind of can't believe you talk to Jiraiya-sama like that," Tenten mused. And just like that, the kids had the undivided attention of both adult ninja. Tonbo's fingers flicked, 'Did you-?', Shimon's sign agreed, 'Listen.'

"You met him! He _is_ a pervert," Naruto said mulishly. "In fact, he calls himself a _suuuuper_ pervert. Not a closet one like Ebisu."

Naruto did a hand-wriggle along with the line befitting of a self-proclaimed Super Pervert.

"Ebisu always seemed a little too boring to be a closet pervert," Tonbo offered to Shimon blandly, but was hushed.

"Well yes," Tenten said, "but he's still a legendary per– a legendary ninja," she corrected herself.

Naruto looked unimpressed. Tenten tried, "Just because he's a pervert doesn't mean he isn't other things too. Like the teacher of the Fourth Hokage!"

"The Fourth _was_ awesome," he allowed, "and the Hokage's kind of a pervert too – one time when he had me over I snuck into his room looking for ninja scrolls and found his books. You know, _those_ books. I think it just comes with being an adult."

"... I'm starting to see why you're unimpressed with Jiraiya-sama," Tenten reflected numbly. Who was this kid?

"So wha'd 'ou wan', nee-'an?" Naruto asked, nibbling his way through another bun.

"What makes you think I want anything?" Tenten said airily and unsuspiciously, if one ignored the way she'd bitten through her bun so hard that her teeth clacked together when Naruto had posed his question. "I'm just being friendly!"

"Oh, okay," Naruto appeared to buy that, hook line and sinker.

They talked about the weather for a couple of minutes, and when Tenten apparently judged it had been long enough to throw Naruto off the scent, she asked casually, "I haven't seen Jiraiya-sama around town, do you know where he's staying?"

Tonbo choked on a kabob, swiftly waving away the concerned proprietor. Maybe this girl _was_ kind of dangerous, in a sense.

"Nah," Naruto said. "I ran into him at a book store one time, complimenting a lady on her breasts. What an idiot, if I tried complimenting Sakura-chan like that she'd punch my lights out."

He shuddered, imagining that scenario.

Tenten appeared to want to ask multiple questions at once, but managed to swallow down all the ones not related to the topic of Jiraiya. "Is that bookstore the one–"

"It's down the street from the hot springs," Naruto confirmed.

"Cool," she smiled.

"If you want to meet him, you could just come by the hot springs again," Naruto suggested. "He's not there every day, but he's there a lot. Because he's a pervert," he added.

"Well, he noticed I was in the tree really quick, so I wanted to hedge my bets," she explained. "I figure if I pester him enough, he might give in. Or start running away, or stick me in a genjutsu, or trap me half underground with earth jutsu or something, but that's a risk I'm willing to take."

She looked unconcerned with the possibility she'd just raised. Tonbo slowly turned to look at Shimon, who tilted a hand back and forth. Tonbo tried to remember if Shimon knew any earth jutsu.

"Nah, he's not that bad," Naruto found himself defending the old letch. "Well, he ran away when he first met me, but I tracked him down until he acknowledged my talent! Hehe, he thought he could trick me with that kawarimi illusion, but I was too smart for him."

Tenten made a little guts pose fist-pump. "I thought that would work!"

"If you're as good as me, anyway," Naruto bragged.

"Huh, yeah, you must be pretty good to get Jiraiya-sama to acknowledge you," Tenten agreed.

Naruto looked briefly thrown with someone agreeing with him on the subject of his own awesomeness, before nodding vigorously with a beaming smile on his face.

Tenten added contemplatively, "Neji might have a harder fight on his hands than he thinks he will."

"What, you know that jerk?!" Naruto flared up, cheek-stretching grin souring instantly into an overblown scowl.

"Well, yeah, he's my teammate," Tenten pointed out.

Naruto squinted as he thought back. "Oh yeah," he remembered. More importantly, he held up his plate. "Hey pops, can I get another plate of these little dumpling things?"

"He's kind of a jerk," Tenten agreed, casually flipping a bun up to balance on one finger before walking it along her knuckles, "but he can be thoughtful, and even kind, when he feels like it. He's nice to children and small animals, and he shares the load of Lee and Gai-sensei's… Gai-ness with me."

She saw the proprietor's look at her playing with her food and swiftly ate it before shooting him an apologetic smile.

"Still gonna kick his ass after what he did to Hinata," Naruto grumbled.

"Sure," Tenten shrugged, unconcerned.

"I mean it!" Naruto growled in the face of her disbelief. His voice was naturally raspy, and when he got angry it got deeper still. Not at the level of an Inuzuka in a snit, but noticeable. "I gotta prove that all that fate and loser talk is crap. Hinata didn't deserve that."

Tenten shuddered briefly, remembering more than a few practice matches with that low, smooth voice clinically dissecting her missteps but reassuring her that it was okay for her to lose because it was expected.

Tenten followed fortune telling because she wanted to be on the lookout for chances to better herself, not to use it to comfort herself after a defeat.

"Neji is the best young fighter of Konoha right now," she cautioned him. "I've seen the betting pools: he's the odds on favorite in the Leaf."

Naruto was a good kid, and he was undoubtedly strong. But in her heart she didn't think Neji would lose.

"That doesn't matter! He's going down," Naruto insisted. His voice got quieter, and softer, and sadder. "He really hurt her."

"The heiress, right?" Tenten checked. "Yeah, Neji likes trash talking, and he seems to have some… issues, with the Main House. So I could see that going... not good."

"She was so determined," Naruto said solemnly, "but he kept hitting her, and then when the match was already over he tried to hit her again! And he was a super jerk about it – the jonin had to stop him, so they totally felt he was going too far too! And then he started talking about the Main House getting unfair treatment, I wanted to hit him so bad."

"Mm." Tenten frowned. That _did_ sound pretty damn bad.

"Look, I get that you have to back your teammate no matter how much of a bastard he is, believe me! I get that better than anybody, totally. But I WILL beat him in Hinata's place."

"Well, good luck," she decided. There wasn't any harm in cheering for both participants, was there? More like, there were more benefits for her that way.

"You know it! Geez, I gotta get back to training if I'm gonna beat Neji!" And like a blazing orange sunset, Naruto vanished into the horizon.

"... Okay then?" Tenten said to the room now suddenly minus one occupant. Well, she'd gotten some good info, so she'd count it a win. Informant get! While she was congratulating herself, she noticed that her plate of buns was the only thing on the table not utterly demolished. And that Naruto's space had four plates stacked one on top of the other. When did he…?

While she was trying to do some quick mental math, the owner discreetly placed a bill in front of her that was… a little pricier than she'd been expecting. By an extra zero. She winced. It's not like convincing a sannin to part with a little training wasn't worth it, but that would cut into her monthly ninja tool budget.

While she was trying not to cry tears of blood as she pulled out a string of ryo from her hip pouch, she didn't notice the customers that had been holding down the other end of the bar pay up and quietly leave.

* * *

"Well that had everything, didn't it," Tonbo said lightly as he padded alongside Shimon on the winding way back to T&I. "Courage, pathos, revenge. Ups and downs. Heroes and villains. Star power, even! It'd make a great movie."

"Enough that you'd almost forget she's investigating Jiraiya," Shimon noted.

"We'll mention it to the boss," Tonbo offered.

Shimon looked vaguely pleased to sic Captain Ibiki on someone, as he usually did.

"Sorry your little girlfriend is cheating on you with Jiraiya, Shimon," Tonbo said solemnly. He swiftly dodged the head-slap Shimon aimed his way by bending sideways just enough to let the open palm go by before springing back upright.

"Shut the fuck up," Shimon said back in exactly the same serious voice. He added, "Kotetsu will be happy, at least."

"Do tell," Tonbo said eagerly, sensing a story.

"He said she interrupted him getting together with with that cute waitress at the sushi store during Tanabata."

"Who, Kohada? With the brown hair and the big," Tonbo cupped his hands in front of his chest to illustrate. He thought he heard a giggle, but Shimon wasn't the giggling type. He didn't glance around, but his senses sharpened out of habit.

"Think so. He said the little devil attacked him with a bamboo tree and he had to fend her off by throwing Tanabata wish strips at her like a demon at Setsubun."

"Sounds unbelievable," Tonbo pointed out. "I mean, Kotetsu actually scoring a date?"

"I know what you mean," Shimon agreed.

"Haha, that's cruel," the burly white haired man in the red coat on Shimon's other side said, like he'd been there all along. His voice was hoarse, but glinted with humor. "It's not easy for a young man to talk to a pretty young thing, you should support your friend more."

There was a heartbeat of sudden, strung-out stillness as both chuunin tried to silence honed fight-or-flight instincts screaming to evade or draw blades or _something_.

"Ah, you would be…?" Shimon said weakly. He had a feeling he knew the answer.

"Just a friendly toad sage," the solid-bodied elder ninja nodded sagely. His headband was not Leaf, nor any other known power: it read 'Oil' inked with a bold hand, and with a nubby horn design worked into the metal. If it was a ninja headband, it was only in the very loosest sense of the word, declaring his allegiance to no world power.

"You're a shadow clone…?" Tonbo the sensor realized. It felt like a chakra construct, now that he could sense it. That it allowed him to sense it? The implications made his head hurt.

"Now that's hurtful," the big guy said. His arms and one leg went akimbo, palms open and slowly tracing patterns through the air in a way that you could almost hear the kabuki gongs. "I might be a shadow clone, but I have feelings! And also, more chakra than either of you wimps. What are they teaching kids these days?"

"Sir," Shimon tried again, more respectfully. If it wasn't who he suspected, it was still a powerful – if apparently friendly – ninja. "Just so we're all on the same page, you are…?"

"I am the great Jiraiya! … 's shadow clone. _That_ Jiraiya, famed in song and story and the gossiping of chuunin who should probably know better."

Jiraiya hopped thrice on one foot before bringing it down into a settled stance. Somehow, no one else on the street seemed to pay much notice the gregarious motions that were weird even for a hidden village. A suspicious lack of care, given the oddity involved. Jiraiya dropped a hand on Shimon's shoulder in a comradely way. "Now, let's talk, huh?"

* * *

Jiraiya blinked as fresh information settled between his ears. He leaned back and politely leered at the curvy woman who set a plate of karaage fried chicken – extra garlic – down in front of him. She smiled at him, inured to his ways or perhaps simply zen, and returned to the kitchen. He watched her sashay away for the appropriate amount of time and then popped a piping hot piece of dark chicken thigh into his mouth, huffing out a silent breath of enjoyment.

Lovely people, the Akimichi. Friendly to everyone, family-oriented but more than happy to entertain an old bachelor like him. Happy to hear his tall tales but with a sense for when he'd rather some quiet to think through his thoughts. And there were some real cuties in the family, too, he thought, though they tended to be plump and pretty rather than beautiful.

And the food! God, the food. He'd haunt the family's restaurants even if they were all as prickly as the 'noblest' Hyuuga.

He settled in to think while he ate. Those two had been shooed on their way by his shadow clone. They were in intel, meant they were smart. They understood that there was no need to get Ibiki involved. They could mention he was in town to the man since he loved playing spider in the web so much, but it seemed kind of rude to get the Torture and Interrogation Squad to play bodyguard to him for an overeager fan.

And it's not like he _objected_ to the attentions of pretty girls! That was the entire reason he did anything the way he did! Well, half the reason. A quarter, at least. This Tenten girl was hardly the first kunoichi – of the Leaf or elsewhere – to try weaseling into becoming a student of his. Or a friend, or a lover. Heh heh. There had been a time especially after the Third War that he could hardly trip over one ardent admirer without landing in the bosom of another. After all, being such a pervert, the ladies thought, surely I could get him to release just a few techniques. Just show them a couple of legendary moves!

Occasionally he'd even obliged them, depending on how determined they were to see his 'legendary moves.' And he wasn't talking about the jutsu. Heh heh. Though that had been a more fun game when he was younger, before he'd wound up in love with Tsunade. Every girl that chased after him or allowed him to catch her had been wonderfully unique and he wouldn't trade a single encounter for anything, but these days they just never seemed quite as interesting as his old, beautiful mess of a teammate.

There was probably something wrong with him, considering how many times she'd cracked his skull, but old ninja were allowed their foibles.

It was nice to know he still had it, though! He wasn't going to take just any pretty girl as a student… or any girl, he thought, feeling his mood dip. Not anymore. The student thing hadn't ever quite worked out for him. Not in the long term. He was a little soft inside – in the heart, not the head, whatever Orochimaru used to claim – but even he could see a pattern when it was staring him in the face. Konan had had eyes like that, maybe a little harder around the edges… but determined and grateful and so amazed that he'd stopped to give them the time of day...

That hadn't worked out. Never did.

It was nice to be asked, though. He wasn't above being flattered, far from it! He was the most flatterable person he knew. By someone who actually knew his reputation, unlike the blond knucklehead of a grandson he'd wound up showing how to water walk. He'd throw the kid a bone or two, and then they'd both get bored of each other. He'd wander off, and the kid would go back to his sensei and his team.

That would be best.

This new one, well. She didn't look like the type to give up easily. But that was okay, kids were cuter when they were stubborn. He'd let her chase him around for a while, see just how determined she was. It would be fun.

Something to take his mind off sightings of his old 'friend' haunting the Forbidden Forest. It had been convenient that he'd been on the way back from one of his long circuits when the old man had messaged him, because he had no intention of missing this. He couldn't quite see the shape of the snake's plan, yet, but that was hardly unusual.

He thought better on his feet, anyway.

Maybe he'd teach Naruto summoning. The toads would like him, and it'd take advantage of the stupid amounts of chakra the kid had bubbling away underneath his skin. … Hopefully he'd know he couldn't just drop a giant toad on whoever he was fighting in the chuunin exam. Sometimes it was hard to tell with that kid.

He'd probably fail and shout a lot at first; Jiraiya was kind of looking forward to it. Kids were cuter when they were a little dumb. Even if they got a tad too loud.

It was the geniuses you had to watch out for.


	3. Chapter 3

How people managed their day without getting up at six, Tenten had no idea. It left plenty of time to hop in the furo for a quick bath – well, hobbling into the bath and letting out almost-obscene groans and moans at the pleasurable heat like an old man – and cook breakfast before starting her day.

Force of habit got her up even after a night like she'd had, trying to catch Jiraiya. The cabaret bouncer had been good at his job but ultimately fell for a good _henge_. The henge of a gender flip and some work aging her featured up had ended up being too good, or the cabaret girls too determined – she'd been locked down with eager female company almost immediately. Jiraiya had had plenty of time to order another sake, drink it and casually leave before Tenten had managed to extricate herself from the grip of a brunette cabaret girl who must have had ninja training.

She was still up long before her father, though.

For a business owner, her dad kept really irregular hours. A lot of his sales were commission, which meant appointments. He could be out meeting – drinking with – one of his eccentric blacksmith buddies all night and not open shop until the hangover cleared up, or he could close up shop early and wake up fresh for a day of business.

Today was not looking like one of the early business days.

Tenten left a pot of rice porridge to warm on the stove while she fried eggs and thin crispy pancakes in separate pans. One minute to an egg, five minutes to a pancake. Layering one on top of the other, then dice in mustard pickles and scallions and a spicy sauce.

She left half the rice porridge and a few pancakes out for her dad to polish off and was out the door by 7 am. Normally she'd have an hour to jog around the village to warm up before meeting her team, but with two members down that wasn't happening. A break to regain their youthful energy, Gai-sensei had said. She wondered what Neji would be doing to prepare for the tournament. Hopefully Gai-sensei had set something up for him, or he could consult with his family. Neji was a genius, but that just meant he understood concepts faster or applied them better than other people. He couldn't just pull new concepts and techniques out of nothing.

… Probably. Sometimes, admittedly…

Well, that had nothing to do with her right now. A quick _kawarimi_ took her to the flat ceramic-shingle roof of her house, displacing a scarecrow doll she kept up there for the purpose. The thing had a silly face drawn on and straw hair done up in pigtails; she'd made it when she was in the academy and wanted some extra practice with the jutsu at home. When she was done, she could just kawarimi back down. She greeted the sun and the clear skies with a smile.

She slowly stretched up towards the sky, feeling where the pleasant ache of limber muscle shaded into a much more unpleasant ache and stiffness. She held that pose for thirty seconds before moving onto the next. Her body, back still straight, curved forward like one of those drinking bird novelty things to stretch out that way instead. She couldn't even touch her toes, for the first time she could honestly remember.

She slowly slid into a kneeling position, like she was going to kowtow. Her back bowed gently, gently. Her face and rear flexed upwards, shaping a shallow U. Then she arched her back upwards like a car, tightening her core muscles and her glutes, holding it...

"Oh hey, nee-chan! What're you doing with all the flexing and stuff? It kinda makes your butt look huge."

"What? It's not!" she corrected instinctively. She was serious about her job, and part of that was keeping in shape. Her body was a love letter to the ninja arts! She was taller and more muscular than any girl her age she knew, and took pride in that! It wasn't easy keeping up with Gai-sensei and the boys.

So her butt wasn't big. It wasn't! End of story.

Her glowering eyes swung round past her – totally normal – rear to see Naruto behind her. Of course it was him; the voice was distinctive and what other semi-grown ninja would be that tactless?

The blond blanched when her burning eyes rest on him. "Uh, I just mean, you know, normally I don't notice it and now it's just right there." His arms waved as though to encompass her butt's there-ness.

She went back to her stretches pointedly, hips flat on the roof with her weight supported by her elbows in a kind of L shape.

"It's… nice?" He attempted another recovery.

"What are you even doing here? You don't live around here do you?" she asked. She assumed she would have noticed, somehow.

"Nah, but I got a bun on the way to practice!" he looked at her like he was hoping she'd be impressed. Like a dog hoping it's owner was impressed it brought the slippers without chewing them this time.

"Uh huh," she sighed, moving into the next pose with determination. This one had her fold her torso over her knees, resting her forehead on the ground, like going fetal.

"Soooo…" Naruto dragged the word out. "Are you practicing poses for the pervert hermit?"

He sounds vaguely mulish, but she wasn't sure what he was dissatisfied about.

Tenten paused in the midst of a stretch, reluctantly drawn back into conversation. "... Do you think that would work?"

"I'unno," Naruto answered promptly. "I could lend you some good research books if you want."

"For posing?" Tenten clarified.

"Sure, you know, naked girly posing. It's harder than it looks, trust me."

That vaguely offended her, since by any reasonable metric she – a girl – should be better at 'girly posing' than Naruto. Although to be honest she wasn't 100% sure how to pose prettily. You couldn't get out of a team under Gai-sensei without a certain amount of image training, but that mostly involved muscle spreads or weird poses like something out of comic books.

Then something clicked for her about the research material he was offering. "No I don't want your porn!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh," Naruto said, looking vaguely insulted. Like he thought she was being rude. "Go back to hiding in trees if you want, I got training to do."

She suddenly had a better idea. "Naruto, wait!"

Naruto walked along, hands behind his head. A grandpa with a receding hairline in a restaurant outfit like Teuchi at _Ichiraku_ waved at him. Naruto blinked, trying to decide if he should wave back. People on the street didn't usually wave to him. Unless you counted shaking their fists at him after an awesome prank, which was acknowledgement of a sort but not really the same thing.

Which was okay, they were basically just jealous. He could deal. Still, friendliness was kinda new.

"Hey, Ten-chan!" the old man hollered with a voice like he regularly chewed gravel. "Who's your boyfriend? You give up on trying to land a chuunin and decided to go cradle robbing instead?"

The girl walking next to him carefully flipped the apron oji-san off. "Knock it off, Masa-san, you know I'm just after their techniques! If I wanted a boyfriend I could just get one." She added, "Maybe when I make chuunin."

"Uh huh," Masa said, unconvinced. "And what kind of 'techniques' are you gonna be learning from that kid there? Kid that age only thinks about one thing, girl, and–"

"He probably has techniques!" she protested. She added, "... Not that I'm after him for that, geez, Masa-san. Although if I _was_ after his techniques, he has to be pretty good for Jiraiya-sama to take an interest."

The crotchety old guy raised both eyebrows. "Jiraiya-sama and that punk? Really?"

Naruto scratched his nose, pleased and a little proud. Then he considered that they were just impressed because of the old letch, and wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"I _am_ pretty good, and I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto decided loudly. "And I'm awesome because of that, not 'cuz of the pervert sage."

He paused, mentally rewinding the conversation. "And whadda ya mean cradle-robbing? I'm not a kid! She can't be that much older than me!"

So he was short for his age! So what! She couldn't be more than half a foot taller than him, and he drank lots of milk. His growth spurt would happen any day now, believe it.

"... No, seriously, why are you with this brat? Does he owe you money?"

"He is Uzumaki Naruto, and he is getting taught by Jiraiya-sama," Tenten confirmed blandly.

A middle-aged guy with stubble and an apron and a hat with a brim on it shouted, "Hey hey, springtime has come for that uncute tomboy of Tamura's? Man, I gotta tell everybody!"

"Knock it off, Kouhei," Tenten grumbled.

"What?" an older woman with fancy blonde hair and a blue dress, with surprisingly muscular arms, poked her head out of the door next to Kouhei's trinket stall. "Spring has finally come for that mannish girl? Congratulations!"

"No it hasn't!" Tenten hollered back.

"Hm, yes, you can do better, honey," the older woman agreed. "His dress sense is awful."

"Hey!" Geez, these guys were rude. What was wrong with the way he dressed? Not just anybody could pull off bright orange!

" _Kawarimi_ -race you to the end of the street?" Tenten offered through her fixed smile.

"You're on!" Naruto agreed, argument forgotten when his competitive spirit roused.

"Great! 1-2-3-go," chanted Tenten in one breath before instantly switching with a tanuki statue.

Naruto wasted a second or two staring dumbly at the stupid ceramic grin staring back at him before he yelped "You cheat!" and scrabbled after her. By the time he replaced himself with a flower pot and leaped after her along the window sills, she'd switched with a vending machine and was further ahead.

"I can't hear you over the sound of how far behind you are," she teased him.

"Not for long!" Naruto fired back. He couldn't match the smooth, well-honed precision of her _kawarimi_ so he made up for it in effort and energy. He teleported erratically in great gouts of smoke, bouncing from street level to roofs to even convenient people who held still long enough.

The shopping arcade folks watched them pop in and out all the way down the street. "Cute, they're cute," Ms. Aki sighed fondly in that way that middle-aged people did while watching the young.

He totally won, by the way. They'd never said he had to _only_ use _kawarimi_ , and _a_ Naruto crossed the finish line first, so he won.

Tenten tried not to let the loss get to her. She was used to being the sneaky one, at least compared to the rest of her team. Lee's pure heart and Neji's pride in himself meant they never did less than their best, but they also wouldn't cheat. The kind of mind that took the concept of 'race' and applied itself to 'creating clones to throw him over the finish line' was kind of new to her.

"So hey, hey, I've pretty much got this water walking thing down, right?" Naruto declared. When his attention wandered, his toes immediately dipped into the drink. He abruptly made a strained face and blue chakra flared as he slowly inched back up to balance on the water.

"More practice," Tenten recommended.

"This is really boring," Naruto complained.

"Uh huh," Tenten replied feelingly.

She didn't know what his problem was, he was at least getting to practice! She was stuck watching him practice without being able to do anything herself. Her idea of camping out with Jiraiya's apprentice, figuring Jiraiya had to show up eventually, had seemed brilliant this morning. Hours later, she realized that a lounge lizard like Jiraiya who spent his nights at cabaret bars probably wasn't the type to show up to training bright and early.

Tenten amused herself by flicking another smooth river rock. It skipped twice and shot between Naruto's legs, startling him into sinking up to the knee. It went on to skip another three times before sinking into the water with a cheerful 'blip' on the other side of the river.

Bullseye.

"Hey!" Naruto scowled at her, but his flailing to try and stay upright robbed the expression of any force and just looked like childish pouting.

"I'm helping," she claimed with innocence like that of a saint. "You need to be able to deal with distractions if you want to say you've mastered the technique. Ninja have to be able to _fight_ on the water, you know."

"Yeah, yeah… I'll get it, believe it!" Naruto reapplied himself to his task with all his effort.

Tenten sighed and walked her last river rock along her knuckles to balance on the tip of her thumb. She flicked it away where it sank into the river with a sad 'plop'. "I'll catch you later, okay, Naruto?"

"Ahuh," he mumbled, face screwed up in concentration into a furious-looking rictus.

Chakra steamed off him like blue mist as he forced more and more chakra into the water beneath him, until suddenly he lost his footing. Rather than sink, the chakra-infused water caused him to pop up off the river like it was a trampoline. The hand he put out instinctively to save himself skidded out from under him so that he face-planted into the river directly. He slowly bobbed with the ripples, drifting downstream atop the charged water.

Tenten carried her fondly mean-edged smile all the way into the hot springs.

After spending an hour leaning against steam-warmed rocks, letting the heat from the hot water sink into her bones, she was feeling much more like her old self again. Various wrinkles and pruning aside. A vaguely satisfied whine escaped her as she stretched her arms up over her head, body feeling limber and languid with the heat.

She'd halfway risen out of the hot springs already when her eyes caught a glint from a whorling knothole in the fence. She spun to face it, pointing. "A ha!" she declared giddily.

"What is it?" a middle-aged woman demanded, flexing one brawny arm. She had the hard musculature of a laborer rather than the lithe muscles of a shinobi, but it was still kind of intimidating. Her hand was big enough to palm Tenten's head.

"Nothing! I've got this," Tenten claimed. A _kawarimi_ with a stack of towels – and a brief pause to whirl one around herself and knot it – and then she grabbed up a pair of wooden wash buckets. Replacing one thrown bucket at the apex of its ascent got her clear of the wall, and then a second one got her to the ground safely on the other side.

And almost directly on top of Jiraiya.

"Thought so," she declared, fingers curved like grasping claws. Like she could literally grab him and shake the secret techniques out.

"Oh heyyy, you!" Jiraiya claimed innocently, in an 'Oh my, what a coincidence meeting you here!' sort of way. He paused, visibly wracking his brains, then concluded, "Tenten-chan!"

There was a brief silence, both parties watching each other. Then Tenten leaped at him, hands grabbing the hem of his coat. "Please train me!"

"No way, I'm busy!" Jiraiya wriggled, trying to free his clothing from her grasp. The fact that he was struggling rather than already gone suggested he probably didn't mind too much.

"It doesn't have to be in person," she reasoned, locking an arm around his waist. "A technique scroll, a few pointers? Anything."

"Come on, be quiet, they'll hear you!" Jiraiya whined. He put one of his huge hands against her forehead and pushed, but she wouldn't be budged. Guy didn't train quitters!

"I could introduce you to the neighborhood oba-sans?" She offered. "Ms. Aki's been looking for a man."

"Hey, I don't want grannies! And what are you, some kind of pimp?"

"Oh, you're that kind," she realized.

His brow furrowed as he tried to follow her line of thought.

"Cradle-robber," she specified.

"Oi." One meaty finger flicked her in the forehead in protest.

"Ow," she said mildly. She curved under his arm and locked one leg around his while she hunted for something else to offer. "I could… do you do book signings? I could be a booth babe or something. You know, so it's not just creepy guys standing in line."

Jiraiya stroked his chin contemplatively, nearly elbowing her in the head accidentally. She ducked lower without letting go, almost sitting on his foot. The old ninja mused, "Get a spokesperson, female endorsement… could work, maybe. My books are _romance literature_ , not smut! That committee had it in for me, and the 18+ rating is really hurting my audience demographics. How old are you?"

"Old enough," she decided to claim.

Jiraiya smiled, obviously imagining something else. Then he shot her a suspicious look, which she returned with all the innocence she could muster.

"Ehh… could work, but an underage booth babe might be a real problem, too. What would you do if you get me arrested or kicked out of Konoha?" he asked drolly.

"Like they could!" But yeah, that hadn't been one of her brighter ideas.

"And I'll have you know I do have girl fans," he sniffed, wounded.

"Of course you do," she soothed him absently, thinking hard.

"Can I go? Or at least, can you get off my knee so I can go back to watching the pretty ladies?"

"You know," she squirmed up so she could hold a face to face conversation with him without weird contortions. She told him, "It would save you time in the long run to just show me a thing or two rather than make me keep guarding the hot springs for a month."

"You don't have to do anything of the sort!"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna."

"Uncute brat, threatening to taking away one of life's great pleasures," he lamented. Then he giggled. "Do you promise to wrestle with me in a towel every time you do?"

Tenten froze. Oh right, she had been doing that. Not that it was in danger of falling off or anything, she had too much confidence in her knots to worry about that, but it was kind of… she was kind of keeping her leg locked around his, and for good measure she'd tangled a hand in his belt and fisted the other in his kimono.

Victory was for the bold, however.

"Fine! Maybe I will!" she declared.

"Great!" Jiraiya clapped his hands. "Well, not that it hasn't been fun, but it's past lunch and I'm hungry. See ya, Tenten-chan."

And then she wasn't holding anything at all. There wasn't even a puff of smoke; the huge old man was simply there, then not. Had it been _kawarimi_? Or an illusion? Since when? ... Something else? She honestly had no idea.

Tenten looked around bemusedly. "I could buy you lunch?" she offered.

The grassy knoll offered no reply.


	4. Chapter 4

Tree Leaf Hospital – Konoha's unimaginatively named hospital – was a businesslike three-story affair. It wasn't as visually imposing as the Hokage tower, but with the way it stretched over an entire block it was probably about as large. Whether it had been intended to be massive from the start or if it had grown in Tsunade's time to reflect the prestige of the greatest medic alive, Tenten didn't know. But it was a lovely building now, with green lacquer shutters against a yellow and off-white design for the walls. The roof tiles were also an eye-catching shade of green, different from the bright blue and red tiles that were the Konoha usual.

And yet, as big as the hospital was there were still never enough medics to see everyone. The medic-nin were needed for mission damage; the crazy stuff. Katon burns like leaping full body into a fire, crush damage from earth jutsu, winds that flensed skin from flesh, the infinite breadth and depth of showing poisons. Anything acquired more locally had to be treated by normal medicine. Most ninja clans had their own clan doctors who were more qualified to deal with their exotic biology, and thank the gods for that or the system would be totally overloaded. That was life in a ninja village.

Tenten shuffled through the massive glass doors and towards the front desk, manned by a harried-looking young woman with flyaway brown hair. Tenten gingerly leaned against the desk, stopping when she felt the twinge in her back.

"Hey Honoka," Tenten said, her smile only a little strained. "I'm here to see Lee, can I go on up?"

"Visitor pass," the barely-awake young woman mumbled, shoving a card into Tenten's hand. "G'wan up."

She'd taken the time to scrawl a sloppy seal on the back, like a stylized U, and ink Tenten's name on the front. Tenten had never figured out what the seal was for. Some kind of tracker or monitor, probably. Maybe just a fake to make people _think_ they were being monitored, ninja being tricky like that. Tenten certainly couldn't feel any chakra worked into the paper, or the ink. But then, she usually _didn't_ sense a lot of the subtle stuff. She could land a hundred shots out of a hundred throws in a fight, but she'd never have made it as a medic or genjutsu ninja.

On the way around the desk and towards the back of the foyer she ran into a familiar face, of sorts. Not that they'd technically met before, but with a brilliant red and white dress, pink candy-floss hair and bright green eyes, she was certainly memorable. Pretty, and delicate, and soft. Tenten had to remind herself that Haruno Sakura could fight; she certainly didn't look the part.

That was impressive, in a way. They taught kunoichi flower arranging and how to wear kimono for a reason, after all.

"Um," Sakura said, the pink-themed genin holding her single white easter lily tight. "Tenten, right? I saw your fight in the preliminaries, you were great!"

"Thanks," Tenten said awkwardly, trying to come up with something nice to say in return. The pinkette had needed Lee to save her in the Forest of Death, and to hear Lee tell it she'd basically agreed to become his girlfriend in exchange for saving her. But then he'd also said something about her tricking a Sound ninja with a kawarimi and then biting him?

Lee had been a little incoherent at that point (and bleeding from the ears), so she didn't have the best picture of events.

Still, Tenten had allowed herself to have some expectations for Lee's crush in the preliminaries, but then Sakura had showed pretty basic form in her preliminary fight. Good basic techniques, a strong grasp of Academy taijutsu. The thing that stood out was fighting off the Yamanaka mind invasion, which was… weird. Possibly impossible? Tenten wasn't an expert or anything, but being able to defeat a clan's signature jutsu just by trying really hard was kind of nuts.

There was probably a reason she was on a team with the Uchiha and the kid Tenten had recently learned was being tutored by a Sannin, but Tenten had no idea what that reason was. So basically, Tenten had no idea what to complement the girl on.

"You were pretty good, too," she decided to go with. "Good traps."

Turning a tree three times as wide as Tenten was tall into a deadfall trap was totally overkill, but the good kind of overkill.

"Yeah, thanks," Sakura mumbled, looking vaguely depressed despite being complemented. Maybe she didn't think traps counted or something? Or she was one of those ninja who thought good jutsu needed to be big and flashy. Like a fireball or a lightning bolt killed people more dead, or better, than sticking a triangular piece of metal in them. Really, she blamed the Academy curriculum: as long as a student could hit a target 6 out of 10 times, they could scrape through with a pass, but if you didn't learn any of the three Academy jutsu it was an automatic fail.

Tenten abruptly realized she was about to start ranting in her head about how she would Show Them All, and that never ended well for anyone.

"You seem like the smart type, you just need to toughen up a bit, get some more taijutsu under your belt," Tenten opined. "Training with Lee would do it, if he could actually buckle down and train with you around."

Sakura made a face at that, which, fair enough Tenten supposed. Lee-training was nuts, and some people were okay at settling for being 'good enough' ninja. Tenten shrugged philosophically, spreading one hand as if to say of herself, 'Look, see?' "Can't win 'em all, obviously."

She began making her way slowly up the stairs, breathing evenly, back ramrod straight. Good for her rehab, the doctors had said. The _up_ stairs part; she'd take the elevator back down. Sakura matched her pace, but the look on her face got awkward like she wasn't sure if she should go on ahead, start shouting encouragement, or silently support her.

"Oh, yes, how are you?" Sakura inquired, after she'd opened her mouth twice and closed it without saying anything. "The ending of that fight was awful."

"Been better," Tenten admitted. "Hoping someone will be able to see me for a session today, but I'm not holding my breath about it. It's only been a week, and there were a lot of nasty injuries in the exam."

"Yes," Sakura shuddered. "That Gaara… poor Lee-san."

"Yeah," Tenten sighed, feeling gloom trying to settle in. There would be only positivity on this trip, however! Tenten had decreed it. Lee deserved at least that much. "Anyway, are you here to see Lee too? Come on, let's walk."

They were silent for a few moments, not sure what to say. Then Tenten smiled suddenly, a bright flash of teeth. "So, Lee, huh?"

"Yes?" Sakura asked warily, like she could sense a trap unfolding.

"Have you been in to see your knight in green spandex? Visit him regularly?" she said suggestively. "Should I be asking about your intentions toward the poor boy?"

Sakura's face screwed up into such a hilarious rictus that Tenten had to laugh.

"Well, I'm grateful to Lee-san of course, but his face is a little..." Sakura protested.

"You know, I have a strict policy that anyone that saves my life gets a date," Tenten said idly. "Encourages them to do it more often."

This was true, sort of. She wasn't entirely sure Lee, Neji and Gai actually knew _why_ she insisted on treating them to nice meals after certain missions, but they went along with it with good grace.

… Except for that time with the sake. Never again – a quarter of their mission fees would be going towards paying for that shop for a while. And if even Gai decided to seal a taijutsu skill away rather than train it, then it was just too dangerous.

"Well, that seems fair I guess," Sakura mumbled. "But I've really been saving myself for Sasuke-san…"

"I didn't say you had to sleep with the guy," Tenten argued. "Just, you know, express your thanks. You know he's head over heels for you."

"Mm," Sakura blushed. "But a first kiss is important for girls, you know?"

"Is it?" Tenten blinked. Sometimes, just sometimes, she worried that she was pretty shit at this 'girl' thing, because stuff like first kisses seemed kind of pointless to her. "Well, something to think about anyway."

Sakura paused in front of a room and glanced inside. "Wasn't Lee-san in room 212?"

"Should be, yeah."

"He's not in there," she said slowly. A quick glance inside confirmed it for Tenten too. There were her sunflowers from a week ago with Gai's pinwheel mixed into the bunch, and Neji's incense burner, and the hand grip thing for therapy… but no Lee.

Tenten sighed, managing to imply the suggestion of a depressed droop while leaving her back perfectly straight. "Damn it, Lee."

"I think I've heard about this," Sakura said thoughtfully. She grinned oddly, secretly, the kind of grin that said she wanted to give Lee a pat on the back and buy him a beer for being a pain in the ass. It didn't really mesh with the Sakura Tenten had been talking to for the last five minutes. "That he's running the nurses ragged trying to train with two broken limbs."

"That sounds like Lee alright," Tenten agreed. She added seriously, "He's a rock, that one."

Sakura sighed. "Seriously? Name puns? That was barely even a pun, that was just… bad."

Tenten just shrugged unrepentantly. She thought about it for a few seconds, then snapped out an order. "Okay, you check the courtyard! I'll go let the nurses know."

"Right!" Sakura obeyed, hurrying off.

Tenten ambled towards the nurse's station, in no particular hurry. Lee could be kind of an idiot, but he was a big boy too. She could try and look after him, make sure he didn't forget to eat after training all night and all that, but she wasn't his mother either.

"Hey, Lee's gone," she informed the on-duty nurses, a pair of brunettes and one green-haired lady in pink scrubs.

"Again?" one of the brunettes groaned, head dropping down to meet her open palm.

"He gets out often, huh?" Tenten asked rhetorically, not really surprised.

"He keeps trying to _train_ ," the green-haired one, older than the other two by probably a decade, grumbled like she was mentally wishing a pox on all too-eager shinobi. Tenten smiled almost helplessly as if to say, 'That's Lee.'

"Sayuri, Ayaka, man the station," the woman in scrubs ordered. "I'll check the therapy lot."

"I have Sakura checking the courtyard," Tenten informed her.

"Good," she said succinctly, already marching away. She had a way of moving that felt like even if she was an inch or two shorter than Tenten, anyone getting in her way would regret it. It was a power walk that a lot of medic-nin developed at some point, in Tenten's limited experience. The wild-eyed paper ninja that worked at Hokage Tower, too. 'Kill me or get out of the way, I have shit to do', that kind of feeling.

"So…" Tenten slowly leeaaned against the counter, careful of her back. Maybe some of Naruto's luck had rubbed off over lunch, because this was really lucky. "How've you been, Sayuri?"

The gawky older teenager with long brown hair that had been half hiding behind a four foot tall stack of charts and manuals gave up pretending she wasn't there. "Hi, Tenten."

Tenten grinned at her, ignoring the other girl's swiftly darkening cheeks. Sayuri was kind of a wallflower, and easily embarrassed. But she knew her stuff, and Tenten respected that. Also, she was enough of a pushover that Tenten could cadge freebies out of her sometimes, which automatically made her a good person.

"You must have graduated your med-nin class, huh?"

"Um, yes."

"Something like a residency now I guess?"

"That's right."

"Congratulations!"

Sayuri curled in like a tree bowing under the wind, her blush deepening. She had a weird habit of hunching so that she didn't seem as tall as she was. "Thanks," she mumbled.

The other nurse in her mid-twenties looked like she wasn't sure if she should intervene or not, but more amused than not. "Friend of yours, Sayuri?"

"Um, n-not really."

"Hey, you're going to hurt my feelings," Tenten protested.

"Um, I just mean, we were neighbors," Sayuri flustered. Classic Sayuri; the idea of hurting someone's feelings got her defenses down. Then you could strike at the soft, warm underbelly – verbally speaking.

"Right, so as neighbors – and friends – could you help me out?" Tenten pleaded. "Just a minute in the break room, or a convenient closet or something! I could really use the relief."

Sayuri blushed harder and her fingers danced aimlessly, spider-like, over the charts in front of her. The other nurse's eyebrows were slowly raising up into her hairline. Tenten played that back in her head and realized what that had sounded like.

"My back is killing me," she explained.

The unnamed nurse had a look on her face like light dawning. "We're not supposed to heal on the side, at least on hospital grounds," she informed her.

"I'm a patient," Tenten argued. "I just haven't managed to make it up the list for nin-healing."

"Just toeing the company line," the nurse shrugged. "Go for it, kid, I won't mention it if the boss doesn't notice."

"Great! Come on Sayuri," Tenten said perkily, half-dragging the awkward med-nin up and away from the nurse's station before she could escape.

"Tenten, wait– stop– I just–" Sayuri mumbled as she was dragged. When Tenten finally paused to let her victim gather her wits, Sayuri added, "There's a cot on this floor for when it's too busy to go home, we can use that."

"Let's do it," Tenten agreed.

Sayuri took the lead then, since she actually knew where she was going. Tenten was soon ushered into a tiny break room just big enough to contain two cots and a small TV with a hilarious level of stealth and worry. Sayuri looked more like she was sneaking through enemy territory than stealing a minute away from her duties for a friend.

"Lay down on the cot," Sayuri said, her voice taking on a level of comfort and control that surprised Tenten. It was the kind of voice that could reassure patients they were in competent hands without being cold or distant.

Medicine clearly suited her, Tenten thought, smiling.

"Should I take off my shirt?" she asked, toying with one of the tongs on her shirt. She didn't know how advanced Sayuri's technique was, but skin contact had to be easier than through clothing…?

"Um, n-no! No, that's okay!" Sayuri reassured her in a low-level panic.

Somehow reassured that Sayuri was still the same old Sayuri, Tenten began the laborious process of getting horizontal on the cot.

"Right, yes," Sayuri cleared her throat with a nervous 'ahem' and activated her technique. Tenten, with her head pillowed on her crossed arms, could see a wash of green light color the cream-colored walls.

The feel of the technique as it sank into her back was difficult to describe in words. It was… comforting but not warm, it numbed but wasn't cold, it tingled inside her skin but wasn't ticklish or unpleasant.

"I see the problem," Sayuri said distantly. "L3 to L5, inflammation and swelling, disc is pinched…"

"Sayu…?" Tenten mumbled, oddly sleepy.

Sayuri's hands drifted south, over her back, down one buttock and along the back of her thigh. Woah! That was rather bold for Sayuri.

The trainee asked, "Is there any pain here?"

"Nah… stiff and sore from the way 'm walking, maybe."

"Good, no root nerve damage," she mumbled. "Disc doesn't look herniated. Facet joint could do with a fix, you'll end up with arthritis in old age, but that's above my grade."

"Maybe I'll be dead before that's a problem," Tenten offered optimistically.

Sayuri pinched her butt sharply in retaliation, causing her to jerk and flop on the cot like a landed fish, which sent a retaliatory wave of pain through her back. "Ow! Easy, you evil woman, it was just a joke."

"Not a joke," Sayuri grumbled quietly. Her glowing hand soothed Tenten's lower back from where her jump had jarred it.

"Not a _good_ joke," Tenten corrected.

"Then don't make bad jokes," Sayuri said primly.

"Yeah, yeah…"

That weird, tingling-on-the-inside feeling swept from the middle of her back to her tailbone, briefly detoured to soothe the spot the trainee had pinched as hard as she could, before sweeping back up to her upper back. Up and down, up and down. Tenten wasn't feeling any pain, but that might just be some kind of anaesthetic effect rather than true healing. Despite her admiration for Tsunade, Tenten had never really gotten into the medic-nin stuff.

Time got away from her for a little while, following the pins and needles feeling as it swept back and forth. Finally the warm hand stopped, settling on her spine.

"Done," Sayuri said quietly.

Tenten sat up, gingerly twisting back and forth to test her mobility. Her spine felt stiff, like there was a block in it preventing it from moving too far, but there was no pain.

"The block should last for a day. Recognize this level of movement, it's best you keep things to this level for now," Sayuri said, business-like.

Tenten saw that fine sweat had beaded her brow, and instinctually swept the other girl into a careful hug. The brunette made a funny sound like 'Ubwah!' and stiffened like she'd been _kawarimi'd_ into a block of person-shaped wood. Tenten decided to pat her perfunctorily on the back twice and let her go before this got weird.

"Thanks, Sayu," Tenten said, upbeat.

"Mmm," Sayuri mumbled, a luminescent flush painting her cheekbones and the tips of her ears.

Their trip back to the nurse's station almost required Tenten to drag the other girl, their previous stealth forgotten. Sayuri was, it would seem, still Sayuri. Tenten never had been able to get her to loosen up.

The nurse back at the station took one look at them, Tenten still glowing from the rush of lack-of-pain and Sayuri with sweat drying on her brow and just starting to get her blush under control, and Tenten could see her mind dive into the gutter.

"Well you two look like you had fun," she asked wryly.

"The best," Tenten agreed, not even caring. "I've got a thing, but I'll swing by and see you again, Sayuri. I'm gonna go see about tracking Lee down now."

Nurse and trainee watched her zoom off in silence for a while.

"Are you happy she relies on you, or disappointed that she's going to see a man now, I wonder?"

"Shut up," Sayuri sighed, resting her forehead on the nurse's desk.

* * *

Of course, actually chasing down even a hobbled Lee could be a pain. She checked their usual training ground, but there was no green blur with a bowl cut smashing training posts there. No Neji practicing his jyuuken either, which was her fallback plan.

If he wasn't at the training ground, then Tenten reckoned there was about a 75% chance that Lee was now wandering the village, practicing one of Gai's weird training regimens. Their sensei and his favorite pupil were a regular sight around the village, walking on their hands or climbing Hokage mountain or practicing hop squats or whatever other ridiculous thing they were up to. Tenten grimaced as she remembered far too many of their training trips she'd joined them on. Watching Neji hatefully hop squat around the village had been hilarious, but even her thick skin couldn't shed all the stares and whispers.

The other 25% percent was that Lee had overdone it in his condition, tried to work through the pain, and then passed out somewhere. She'd need to find Neji after all.

Tenten attempted not to hold the fact that she could be stalking legendary ninjas for their secrets _right now_ against him. That wasn't how friendship worked.

So, Neji. If not the training ground, he could be at home. The Hyuuga compound was essentially a very nice fortress at the southern end of the village, completely impassible to a clanless ninja such as herself. The fact that it was made of expertly crafted meditation gardens, exquisite koi ponds and delicate paper walls didn't change that fact. At best she could hope to be shuffled off on some branch clan member and trapped in extremely polite small talk for hours until a point had been made; at worst, the gate guard (they had a gate guard) would simply keep her at bay with disdainful looks until she retreated.

If he was at home, then she'd probably have to give up. But it was close enough to lunchtime that he could be eating out. Neji's favorite soba shop – tidy but surprisingly plebeian in attitude and decor – was nearby. So, compound, or restaurant? Tenten didn't exactly have a bunch of i ching sticks handy, so she decided to flip a ryo. The coin spun two and a half arcs through the air, then one and a half down before she snatched it out of the air.

Tails. Compound, then! Now that she had a plan, Tenten resolutely set out for the Hyuuga compound. If she was rebuffed there, she could reverse course and hit the soba shop. He would not escape!

Or he would escape and she could wash her hands of the whole thing herself, now that she'd done everything she could. Hopefully Jiraiya wasn't taking this opportunity to teach Naruto all kinds of literally legendary techniques when she wasn't around. It would fit his sense of humor. If she came back and Naruto had learned summoning, or sage techniques or something like that, she was a little worried that she'd flip out and start ranting like a lunatic, and Jiraiya would laugh and laugh and laugh.

Just thinking about it lit a fire in her belly. The kinds of techniques Jiraiya had… just one would probably be enough to get a hard-working ninja to jounin status or beyond. It would be the kind of thing that you could build a style and a career around. She _had_ to find a way get him to teach her just one technique.


	5. Chapter 5

Man, its been a while since Naruto and Jiraiya showed up, huh? Or, uh, anyone. Lack of updates and all. Sorry about that.

* * *

 **Tenten, Hyuuga – Trading Favors 5**

SFW (currently) Naruto fanfiction

* * *

Tenten stopped in to grab some buns on the way to the Hyuuga compound. Compound, not fortress; the Hyuuga were very clear on that. They had _rules_ , and she did _not_ want to get Neji's family mad at her. Not only could they ruin a person socially, but they had this way of psychologically destroying people they didn't like. Just imagining those disapproving blank stares burning a hole through them regardless of any barrier or hiding place would cause a lesser person to shudder instinctively.

Not Tenten of course! She was made of sterner stuff. Right. She wasn't bringing a house gift because of how she felt about cold white eyes judging her (and judging her, and judging her), she just felt like it. Because it was polite, dammit, and she was – hypothetically – a polite young lady.

The Hyuuga had never been so crass as to _explain_ what they wanted, because nobles had this _thing_ about just coming out and explaining themselves. But after her first visit's inappropriate lack of gifts, Neji had quietly sidled up during a day trip mission and – at least partly through a confusing metaphor about pillars – explained hospitality customs.

Well actually she'd bought him a bun, thinking he'd missed breakfast and was angling for a free snack. Eventually he'd had to explain the whole house-gift procedure in plain words to his bemused teammates. Then he'd had to backtrack and explain proper tea-drinking etiquette, and the appropriate shoes, and Tenten had kind of zoned out for a little while. Lee had taken notes. Gai had looked incredibly proud of… something. Neji putting himself out there, maybe.

Sometimes, when she had to visit and was feeling cheap, she'd hunt shiitake mushrooms which were also on the appropriate list (which she'd borrowed from Lee at some point). But she really needed to make sure Lee wasn't lying face down in a gutter somewhere, so she could get back to stalking Jiraiya for ninja tips. Therefore, buns.

And of course, a bag from Old Man Koji's street stall didn't cut it. She'd only had to show up once and see the expressions on those patrician faces like she'd delivered a bag of flaming dog shit on their doorstep to figure that one out. Neji's mom had still eaten them, proving at least some nobles had good taste, but after that she made sure to bring _fancy_ buns.

"Greetings, honored customer. You honor this shop with your- oh. _You_."

The young woman behind the counter looked like she'd bitten into one of her own tasteless buns.

"Yeah, yeah, love you too," Tenten said irritably. "One box. Matcha green wrapping."

How was Tenten supposed to know you weren't supposed to haggle? If the Old Man at her usual bun stand had served something is tasteless as what came in that box, she'd have felt totally comfortable demanding a refund.

"Very good, miss," the saleswoman said snippily, already wrapping up a box of twelve to go.

Boxed. Individually wrapped. Tasted like a puff of nothing to her, whatever the saleswoman's claims of hints of cherry blossom or green tea, but the price tag was apparently worthy of the Hyuuga. Between buying Naruto lunches and this it was going to be a tight week, financially-speaking.

From there it was a short three blocks until she started getting out of the commercial district and into clan territory, and how wonderful was it for walking three blocks not to be a hardship again? She owed Sayuri a box of those three color dango she liked.

The Hyuuga compound was it's own little world, with its own training grounds and its own water supply and its own merchants and fighters. Just in case the village shops didn't have a brand you liked, she supposed, or –probably more likely – a precaution against Konoha turning against its own with base treachery. All the old families were weird like that.

The Inuzuka lived in the thickest woods possible and still be considered part of Konoha, and supposedly knew every inch of their lands by smell. The Aburame's lands were small but densely packed and buzzed ominously. They built vertically and preferred apartment living. The Akimichi owned and oversaw the farms outside Konoha proper and had good relationships with the hunters. She reckoned that if anyone ever tried to slay Konoha from within, the Akimichi had the best shot. Even ninja needed to eat.

Compared to that, the Hyuuga required a climb: they owned a mile of painfully meticulous topiary, medicinal gardens, and so on, leading up to the base of a tiny plateau on which sat their home itself. They were literally placed above the common folk. The first Hyuuga probably thought they were being clever, Tenten figured.

Hyuuga who didn't enter the shinobi corps or the medical field all trained regularly with the bow, and their gate guards all carried enormous greatbows that could launch an arrow with eerie precision anywhere in the gardens below. And they were really, really serious about people using the front gate rather than chakra-climbing whichever side of the plateau was convenient. That was a mistake Tenten only made once.

That shirt had never been the same, even after she patched the hole.

"Hello!" she called out after stopping a probably-respectful distance away. There was silence for a moment, as Tenten imagined pale eyes looking at her from the other side of the gate.

"Approach!" came the call back.

Even the gate house was an exquisite paper-paneled thing that wouldn't stop even a determined civilian from charging right in. Sometimes she thought the Hyuuga would make more sense Hiashi was just unhealthily into origami.

"Tenten, here to see Neji," she self-identified, lightly shaking her gift box as proof. She squinted at the tall, stern man at the gate. Ko? No, no topknot. Iroha, probably. He did barriers or something, she gathered. Not that she'd ever gotten to see him in action; even she wasn't confident enough to badger Hyuuga about their techniques.

"Welcome, Tenten-sama," probably-Iroha said.

"... -kun is fine," she said, nonplussed. Aside from that disastrous first meeting, almost every Hyuuga she ever met did the -sama thing. Some said it with a smirk, like they were making fun. Some said it normally, like it was a fact. A few said it with a welcoming smile. Maids said it. Jounin said it.

When directed at a market district brat like herself, it just felt really weird. She'd never been a 'Tenten-sama' in her life. She didn't have a problem with getting respect, respect was _great_ , but it felt unearned. Coming from the 'most noble clan of the Leaf', it sounded more like the setup for a bad joke. With her as the punchline.

"Of course, Tenten-sama," Iroha said, like he hadn't actually listened to a word she'd said. Tenten wasn't a fan of being ignored, as a rule, but genin had to take what they were given most of the time. "Neji-sama is working with the Head in the main house compound today."

"Huh."

Neji had always been pretty frosty towards the main Hyuuga line, who seemed perfectly content to ostentatiously ignore him back. So why would the main branch reach out their hand to him now? She kind of wondered if 'work with' was Hyuuga code for 'beating his punk ass for hurting my little girl'. If Naruto's recounting of the fight with Hinata was accurate Neji probably deserved a thumping, but...

"I shall escort you," Iroha said.

"Huh?" Tenten blinked. "You don't need to, it's right in the middle right? Can't miss it."

"All the same," Iroha said, not budging an inch.

"... Don't you need to guard the gate?" she tried.

He wordlessly tapped the stand-out veins bulging out over his temple, the sign of an in-use Byakugan. Depending on how good his Byakugan was – and somebody chosen as a gate guard was probably pretty damn good – he could probably see anything happening in all of Konoha right now.

"Right…" she mumbled.

The stern Hyuuga turned and stepped into the genkan, the step up dividing the neatly swept ground from the polished wood floors of the entryway. She wriggled into the house slippers set in a nearby cubbyhole without needing to be asked. The maids did _not_ like seeing the open-toed slippers Konoha ninja wore for everything from going to the store to battle on their spotless floors. Not that it was a hardship, she thought, wriggling her toes happily. Hyuuga quality had its benefits.

Iroha nodded shortly and continued on, silently sliding open a paper sliding door with a subtle touch of… was that chakra thread, Tenten wondered.

The trip through the labyrinthine inner workings of the Hyuuga compound was _probably_ designed to be deliberately confusing to people without the Byakugan, although possibly it was just a natural consequence of living in a house larger than her actual neighborhood. By the time they'd walked through the third immaculately maintained inner courtyard – two of which contained elegant rock gardens softened with moss and chrysanthemums and one with a trio of thin-leaved maples – Tenten was confident that she was well and truly lost.

She bowed her head towards the back of her self-appointed guide, as an apology for being unnecessarily self-confident. But it was also his fault for leading her on an unnecessarily convoluted trip, so she decided to inquire, "Are we almost there?" every five minutes from then on. 'Are we there yet?' like a kid on a long trip. Her revenges were petty.

Iroha just categorically answered, "No," each time, anyway.

On their way, Tenten and Iroha passed many patrician, stern Hyuuga men and beautiful, heart-faced Hyuuga women. Well, the Hyuuga men were also beautiful, but Tenten figured it would be bad form to ogle Neji's uncles and cousins.

Some of the older clan members bowed their heads towards their visitors or greeted them briefly, although some simply moved along with purpose or meditated silently in the gardens. Long, flowing robes and kimonos seemed to be popular as ever among the 'Noblest of the Leaf', and Tenten noted several of the apron-over-kimono look that marked the family maids.

"So, how's the family?" she asked Iroha, trying to drum up an actual conversation. People loved talking about themselves and the things they loved, it was basically a sure bet. Like talking about the weather, or the latest Bingo Book entries.

… Maybe that last one was just among ninja, though.

"The Hyuuga endure."

"Of... course they do." Tenten eyed the back of Iroha's head, trying to detect if he was making fun of her or was really this stolid naturally. It was kind of like… getting a rock to talk at all is pretty impressive, but then you start wondering if all that stony silence is making fun of you?

Tenten spotted a few of the Hyuuga gossiping in quiet corners. Not that their gentle murmurs or fluttering fans were much like the gregarious gossiping of the oba-sans in the shopping district, but Tenten was a veteran wheedler and spy; she knew gossip when she heard it. There was a certain shade of malicious amusement that always accompanied gossip that she could ferret out by scent alone.

And if she lingered here and there, listening casually… well, it was hardly the fault of the poor lost genin, was it? Not that she could make much sense of the murmurs, but she did pick out Neji's name more than once. She wondered if he was having a hard time over that thing with Hinata.

Eventually she was handed off to a statuesque older woman in the usual Hyuuga mold; in a cream and dark brown kimono that took advantage of her height and, well, chest without drawing attention to it. She stood straight like her back was more ruler than spine, like a guardian deity. The Hyuuga folded her hands before her and bowed, head down and graceful as a bending willow, which Tenten hastened to copy.

Tenten didn't want Neji's mom upset with her.

"Thank you for escorting our guest, Iroha-kun. I will take over that duty now." She graced the door guard with a smile, to which he responded by stiffening even further.

 _Don't leave me alone with her,_ Tenten pleaded in her mind. Nobles, moms - she wasn't great with either category. Proving that telepathy wasn't one of her talents, Iroha immediately dipped in his head in a deeper bow and left, the traitor.

"Thanks for – you know – having me," Tenten offered, holding out her box of sweets like it would ward off a hungry bear instead of the soft-looking woman on the other side of the low-set table.

* * *

Tsubame smiled patiently as the poor young thing stumbled through the welcome gift like a winsome kitten.

"They are wonderful," she assured the girl, standing to attend to a small pot and accompanying shallow bowls. "Just the thing to have with tea."

Tsubame folded the _fukusa_ cloth with a crisp snap before using it to clean the bamboo tea scoop. She wiped the long-handled scoop thrice with well-practiced motions and set it aside, then took up the _hishaku_. She used the cloth to uncover the heavy copper lid of a kettle set with three herons in flight – a favorite of hers – and ladled out one cup of hot water before balancing the scoop gently atop the kettle. Tsubame whisked the water in the teacup decorated with a small bonsai, and swirled the cup in her hands before pouring it out and beginning the process over again.

"So is Neji busy, or…?" Tenten wondered.

Tsubame sighed, the peace and focus of the ceremony crumbling a little at the question.

"He is training with the Head; a great honor," she told the girl.

Tsubame wiped the cup with a rough cloth, re-poured and added powdered tea to the cup. A gentle sound permeated the air as she whisked the green tea to a light froth.

"Right, I heard about that…" Tenten hesitated, trying to think of a way to phrase 'Is your son getting his ass pummeled like a Cloud prison bitch while we sit here drinking tea.'

Tsubame waited patiently, like coaxing a young fawn from the underbrush.

Tenten finally settled on, "So, everything, is okay?"

"Of course," Tsubame said. The life of a Hyuuga was one of service, but there were joys to be had as well. She had high hopes that her boy would be able to steal away such moments as duty allowed. Hizashi had been a duty once, after all, but that had blossomed into joy in time. Neji had all the fire of youth, but Tsubame was old enough to know that being able to protect the clan was an honor, not a chain fastened around the neck.

That the girl was worried boded well for Neji. Tsubame liked her, clanless barbarian though she could be. A laugh almost bubbled up again when she remembered some of those antics. The Head had not been pleased at the Hyuuga name being connected to a drunken brawl, but Tsubame considered Neji to be of an age to rebel just a little.

Traditionally they would now discuss the weather and season, but perhaps that was expecting a bit much of the young. Neji had never shown any great interest in tea ceremony either, though Hinata was a dear and did her best.

Tsubame took a sip of her own tea and asked mischievously, "Would you like to see him?"

"Oh, uh, well yes, but if he's busy…" Tenten prevaricated hastily, like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff and had no idea. Which was silly.

Tsubame reflected that if Neji happened to rebel a little more, and seek comfort in the arms of a comrade… that bothered her not at all. It would be Neji's duty to marry for the family, and due his position – only surmounted by the main family itself in prestige – he had his pick of eligible young clan mates. But if he were to seek outside the family, as some Hyuuga did… unions with other clans were not allowed. This was clan law, and could not be flouted the way some small youthful indiscretions – like trashing a bar – could. It was said that the sharingan and all that dark history was what came of such dalliances.

So it was a mother's prerogative to keep an eye out for civilian-family ninja with potential. An eligible young woman, of no clan, already showing talent with sword and sealing? These were skills that would not threaten to overshadow the superior Hyuuga Gentle Fist methods, but were also sought-after talents. Such a girl, living and working with Neji for years, trusted to watch his back, sharing the fierce joys and bitter sorrows that came with ninja life… there were certainly worse matches.

"Come," Tsubame told her young companion, rising to her feet and padding to a sliding paper door. The Main Clan's preferred dojo was only a few moments away; there was nothing so barbarous as a physical divide between main and branch clan.

She knelt properly and slid the door halfway open, a motion both fighters within surely noticed. The pair which had been still as statues exploded into motion. Their fingertips dove and weaved and contested, blue chakra sparking. Their blows quickly moved beyond Tsubame's ability as a ninja, but not beyond her Byakugan, which Hyuuga trained all their lives. She saw how the Head powered through a weak block on his third strike, perfectly stopping the wrist tenketsu. Neji could compensate somewhat, redirecting his chakra flow around the obstruction, but it was a telling blow. In three more breaths, on his sixteenth strike the Head took the shoulder of that arm. In a match between Hyuuga, losing an arm was a death sentence.

"Hold," the Head said, returning to a neutral stance.

Neji, his brow creased with pain, stepped back as well. His chakra roiled and roared, a turbulent river compared to its normal still lake. He had to wait for ten full seconds before he had calmed enough to unblock his tenketsu, a – some Hyuuga might say – shameful lapse of composure. Tsubame felt more than saw Tenten's wince where the girl looked on, peeking through the opening above Tsubame's head.

Hiashi glanced over at them, obviously, for the girl's benefit. Either Hyuuga would have noted the minute flicker of attention without needing such a tell.

"Five minutes," the Head allowed. Tenten pumped her fist and danced around Tsubame in her haste to make use of the time allotted. She came to a stop in front of the younger Hyuuga with the telltale stillness that was ninja-trained muscles preventing an actual skid on the Hyuuga's polished wooden floors.

"Hey Neji, long time no see!"

"Yes."

Tsubame smiled at her son but moved aside to let them speak in something like privacy.

"The training appears to be going well," she murmured to her brother-in-law.

"Yes. It is good that the boy humbled himself enough to ask," Hiashi said.

"Indeed," she agreed neutrally.

A cold man, Hiashi. As one must be, to put the needs of the clan ahead of the individual. But a good enough Byakugan could see to the heart of things, and see the man's unresolved issues with his brother's son.

Tsubame watched Tenten send a quick look towards the older pair before visibly deciding on a different line of conversation than she first considered. Smart girl, but not as subtle as she likely believed she was. She'd learn, in time.

"So, training, huh?"

"Of course."

"Sorry I wasn't able to help out, I've been busy."

"Understandable."

Tsubame judged that Neji did understand, but that the girl's attention turning away bothered him a little anyway. She suppressed a smile and began a conversation about the turning of the season that required precisely none of her focus.

"I've been hanging out with that Naruto kid lately," Tenten noted. "He's actually not as dumb as he seems-"

"It would be difficult to be."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Haha, I know, right? Still, you should probably keep an eye out or he'll kick your butt."

Neji looked faintly offended at the very idea. Tsubame was… less sure. The Naruto boy was, to all appearances, a much weaker ninja… but. Neji was right to be proud of the strength he had gained, but the other child was a confluence of several once-in-a-generation events which Tsubame freely acknowledged she did not understand.

She noted that Hiashi was just as intent upon the conversation happening over her right shoulder.

"Seriously!" Tenten said. "His jounin must have called in every favor he ever had to set this up. Or nepotism, or luck, or the whims of crazy old ninja."

"He is not the one I am looking forward to fighting."

Tenten rolled her eyes again, then paused, as if to re-examine that thought.

"Neji Hyuuga, are you trying to _avenge_ me?" Tenten asked, sounding charmed.

"If the kunoichi and shinobi from Sand should happen to come against me in the tournament. It is unlikely," Neji said simply. Her boy believed that fate was immutable, and rarely kind. If he desired an outcome, he would work towards it without any expectation of success.

It was a somewhat twisted, but not [i]bad[/i] philosophy for a ninja to have. Appropriate, perhaps, for a Hyuuga branch line member, despite the banked embers in the boy that chafed at the branch house's destiny. Which Tsubame was grateful for, since she didn't actually have any idea how to disabuse him of the notion. Neji did not let go of things gracefully or well.

"Still, though!"

"The Uchiha will be a good test of my skills," Neji claimed stolidly.

And, yes, the technique her child was attempting to train was useful at both close and mid ranges that the Uchiha traditionally favored. But Tsubame believed – hoped – that it would equally serve against the animated sand Neji had described used to cripple their shared teammate. Neji could be surprisingly hot-headed at times, and the tales told of Gaara of the Desert were fearsome indeed. That was frightening, as a mother.

"How's the shoulder?" Tenten inquired. "Here, let me get your shirt off."

Neji's grump shivered the air but he did not – quite – audibly object to her attention. Tsubame's eyebrows rose, and she knew the slight furrow in Hiashi's brows as he talked was not because of an artist he was sponsoring for the Obon festival later in the year.

"He got you in the shoulder joint," Neji's partner pointed out. "And it's harder to get the tenketsu through clothes, but you can't get that shirt off with one arm, so…"

The girl flicked her fingers, which Tsubame supposed was attempting to convey Tenten flinging the shirt away.

"Quite unnecessary," Neji snorted. The boy did have an excellent dismissive snort.

Neji, in a startling display of flexibility, wordlessly snaked his good hand through the opposite shirt sleeve, up towards his heart and then pulling back enough to tap a spike of chakra against the affected tenketsu. His chakra would forcibly clear the chakra plug the Head had placed there. Not a particularly elegant solution; typically, Hyuuga training would end once the student had endured having several tenketsu closed by such strikes. The student would be expected to meditate on the effects of the technique as the plugs faded away naturally over the course of several hours.

Neji didn't care to take the slow path, much.

Tenten held up her hands defensively, wordlessly conveying a sense of 'you win.' "Okay, okay, my bad!"

"Hm." Neji smiled slightly, seeming more at ease than he was five minutes ago. More grounded. The beneficial effects of the girl's presence on her son were… perhaps a little obvious, at least to eyes as good as the Hyuuga's.

"Oh right, I was originally looking for Lee," Tenten added. "Could you…?"

Neji didn't require any more information than that. Knowing Lee was sufficient explanation. The boy worked himself into unconsciousness with unhealthy regularity.

He expanded his Byakugan to maximum range without another word and began to search. But while he had exceptional _precision_ , some other Hyuuga – Hiashi, or young Hinata – had more _range_. Here in the heart of the compound, it was unlikely that Neji could locate the boy. It was possible the young woman wasn't actually aware that the Byakugan varied widely among family members, but it was also possible she was attempting to be courteous. Some foolish Hyuuga quietly considered a short range like Neji's to be something of an embarrassment.

Neji seemed lost in thought for a few long moments, before he deactivated his Byakugan, turned and marched towards them. Tsubame smiled at him when he asked Hiashi directly, "Head, my Byakugan is not suitable for this task. Would you please locate my wayward teammate?" without even having to clench his teeth in an instinctive desire to keep the words from escaping.

She had to rein in the desire to hug him. As a young man it would probably only embarrass him in front of a pretty girl, but she wanted to very much. The Hyuuga pride was an invaluable tool, but it should be that and nothing more. Neji showing he could step beyond it at need was a joy. Too many Hyuuga allowed their pride to limit them unnecessarily. Pride, honor, reputation, these things were often the sword and the shield of the Hyuuga. But they had also killed her husband at the hand of his own twin. They were important, necessary… but they could also drag you down like iron chain. The capability to ask for help was a sign of strength, not weakness; Tsubame believed that.

"Mm," was all the Head said, but she thought she caught the minute relaxing of a muscle in the levator scapulae. Hiashi did not bend for anyone, but the epitome of the Hyuuga was still human. His own Byakugan activated, the veins around the eyes and temples flooding with chakra. "The boy is resting on a bench in front of a dango stand on the east road. His clothes are slept in."

Neji bowed his head in thanks, and didn't even look particularly pained to do it. Tsubame thought it boded well for the rift between their houses… scabbing over, someday. Some wounds never healed. But a tree could survive incredible wounds, growing over and around the damage until it emerged twisted from its pain but otherwise whole.

"Well!" Tenten clapped her hands, shattering the quiet. Tsubame sighed again. "Guess I'll go get him home, maybe tie him to the bed or something. Neji, good luck with your thing, and I'll see you at the third exam if not before. You all have a good evening!"

Which was at least better than 'Byyeeeee!' or something similarly cute, Tsubame reflected.

The girl bolted away from what probably seemed like an awkward family moment, before Tsubame could call for Iroha to escort her out of the compound.

Tsubame thought there was a hint of a smile around Neji's eyes when he said tonelessly, "I'll go find her before she ends up in the zen garden again."


End file.
